“YOU GO TALK TRUE” (PART 1)

Kersten no sheda be bad girl. She be fine girl; ein body fine. Ebe ein top she dey ron guys but she dey use ein twin sister ein name dey cover up. But one tin be say she no dey allow   de niggers make dem grind am. She be smart girl pass, wey sake of sey she den Christine dey look alike-a, if she do de tings wey dem barb am-aa, she go talk sey ebe Christie wey do am. E check like Kersten naa make cool and quiet so people dey believe am pass ein sister. De two of dem dey flow plus boys   like de way Kuffour gallon dey flow for Teshie den Nungua. Dem dey na so noh, Kersten dey hide ein ein moves, wey she be  secretive like sometin. But for de two sisters dema between noh, no bro dey take ein move dey hide ein sis. So   Sisto A grab new catch-a e go discuss plus Sisto B wey dem go plan dema move correct-correct before dem dey strike. So, as dema poppy figure sey e barb dem dat evening noh, dem just laugh am for capital letters for Facebook.

Wey Kwame dey drive from Gbawe dey go Community 18 noh, e make certain sey everyting make jerh for ein body. De only ting wey dey worry am be sey, communication come cut for ein den de barbie dema between. De tin be say as e go borrow de car for ein friend noh, he no talk sey he dey take de car go chase shoddy. He talk someting different kraa wey   Koranteng too, abi e no dey stiff boys-boys so e lef de chorni give am. As de messages continue come Kwame ein phone top noh, e no wan Koranteng read dem so   e change de pattern for de phone top but e no cherr bia wey ein naa forget de new pattern wey e put for de phone top, so communication between ein den de girlie cut wey e no know de girl ein number for ein head so say he no fit call am.  As de girlie talk am sey he for represent for de house like 6:30 noh, e too e no wan disappoint am so e dey fire de car like e no get head. E no dey look back kraa.

E check de time-aa he get like some two hours more before 6:30. E check ein wallet wey e see some four oha for inside. He go buy short bread den malt den nibis. Six O’clock pe e catch community 18. E go biz where de girl ein lane dey. Dem show am norrh   wey e go park de car wey e dey werj. E no sheda park close to de Kerstern girl dema gate. De fire still dey on wey he dey watch movie for de car inside; de aircon dey blow, full nyanya. Ein eye top go tear am no,  some Renault Laguna come park for de Kersten girl dema gate but e know say e no   be now Kersten ein fader go come house so e no pay attention-biaa to de person. Natin know say dat be  Kersten ein   poppy. As e dey werj make time catch   so sey e go go ring de doorbell for de gate ein mof naa den e dey kai-kai de stories  wey some of ein paddies wey go chase girls all dey talk am, especially dose wey   meet plus wild parents noh.

Some of dos guys noh, parents make dem do arm press-up den leap frog den tings. One guy sef, dem lure am go dey de house inside wey dem give am paper plus pen make e rep exam.  E kai dis one wey e laugh some queer laugh-bi give ein body. E tin up wey e dey go, den e san kai say some parents   fit slap   guys for girlie dema top. As e walk dey near de gate no e no know sey de old boy spy am for camera inside longest. He nya reach dere wey press de doorbell norrh  wey de old boy gbele de gate for ein face.

Kwame move back because he never dey expect de man for de gate dat time wey everyting make clear sey dat be Kestern ein poppy, no two ways. Later wey e come know say Kersten ein poppy be de national army dema reche den peace-goer driver. De ting be sey, de man ein arm den shoulder cake like yam,  wey e be muscular.  But de old boy smile give am wey e shock.

 “Hello, young man, good evening.”

“Good evening sir.”

“How may we help you?”

 Kwame conf wey e say e dey look for de house number; de house number wey Kersten give. Like e no for talk so but sake of de conf wey e conf noh, e come go so. De old boy chalk dey pop am. Kwame start feel like e be some little fool for cartoon movie inside.  E make like e dey look for de house number for de gate ein mof now.

“It is W66… dis be W66. You can’t miss it.”

“Sure”.

“You are sure of it?’

De old boy see say Kwame start sweat wey e make like e wan shake hand plus Kwame. De old boy de bring ein hand dey come shake Kwame-a, Kwame move back. E be dere wey de old boy come see say de guy dey sweat like Guantanamo Bay prisoner wey dey come Madina market for afternoon ting. As de old boy sense de tension wey barb de guy no, he san biz am again who e dey search. De old boy make am clear give am sey e pop am for de car inside longest time, wey if ein de  Kwame guy no be sure of de address-a    he no go cherr for de car inside wey he go walk straight to de address. He talk sey he pop am longest for outside. He just walk straight come dere so no way e fi talk sey dat no be de address.

Kwame come conf more, e search ein brain-a wey e kai sey Kersten tell am before sey e get two broders, one be Kobby. De order one e no fi kai ein name wey e just go make lucky small.

“Young man, I ask you for anoder time, who are you looking for?”

“Kwame, no Kobby, is he in?”

“Do you know him?”

“Yes of course.”

“When was de last time wey you see him?”

E no dey expect dat question. E just hit am like stray bullet. Like e wan tear run but e see say dat one no go help am. Like e wan talk say e make fed up but e no know where de  answer pass commot e mof. Dat be what some meners dey bell verbal diarrhoea. E no know de time de answer commot, wey e naa see say e be saturated nonsense wey e yorb apart from de fact say e be loy.

 “About a mant ago.”

“Where?”

He no know where he go talk like he go mention am. He search ein head-a wey like  e dey go mention West Hills but ein wits block am wey e lef  am again.

“I meet am for Quarters…Community One.”

“And he gave you dis address?”

“A friend did.”

De old man bore but e kai say e dey happen all de time. De old man biz am sey he go come inside or he go make e bell Kobby give am. Fast!  He naa no wan go inside because e no  know when e go inside-aa, de ting wey go go happen   for ein top for de inside. E kai de way dem do ein paddies   come pass so e look sharp wey e talk de old boy say  e go good-aa,  make e bell de Kobby guy give am. First na de old man talk say e no go good so e wan give Kwame marching orders make e go de house inside but e san biz ein body what Kwame get do for ein house inside. E be ein top  wey de old boy bell Kersten make she call Kobby give am .   Christie understand de move longest times because de two of dem know about de move.

De old boy figure say de move be Christie ein own dat why e be Kersten e call. But e no know what dey go on. E be ein top wey e no bell Christie but she be de first person wey commot come de gate. E wan talk sey dem no understand what dema poppy talk so she dey come biz am. She just wan see what de Kwame guy look like because ein sister praise-praise dis guy saa.

“Daddy!”

“Get out of dis.”

“Daddy, what do you want Kersten to do?”

“She already understood me.”

“Oh Daddy, do you need water?”

“I need a fish pond.”

“Daddy paah”.

She dey do so-a,  wey she dey draw close to ein poppy den Kwame. Finally e see what the Kwame guy dey look like. Den times all Kwame dey sweat but e fit  see sey dat be ein girl but dat evening dier she be bold paah oh. Den e no cherr bia wey Kersten commot plus Kobby come. E see sey dah be ein real girl. E be dere e see sey dem be identical twins.

 

De old boy jie Kobby for Kersten ein hands wey e sack de two shoddies. Dem just go den  hide for dema poppy ein back den dey troh-troh sign give Kwame. Kwame conf.

“Dis is Kobby, have him.”

De old boy pop Kwame ein face twice. Dis time, Kwame too gader confi pop am wey dema eye contacts be cordial. De two of dem smile, but Kwame ein own be feint.

“Sir, wrong address.”

“Wrong address indeed.”

“Sure.”

“You go talk true indeed.”

Kobby is an eight month old boy. Kobby be kiddie kraa-o, toddler levels kraa wey de Kobby na no begin talk yet. Dat be where Kwame see say ein last card no work give am.

 

 To be continued…

 

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Describing a man like this cannot be an easy task. A man of many parts and sides. A single statement of his sends confusion all over the place: some laugh it off; others weep. Highly unpredictable… consistently inconsistent. Strict but funny. You cannot fully know him because he does not know himself enough either. Settled? When you first meet him, he’s banal; then you get to know him a bit, then you like him. Get to know him some more and you don’t like him much anymore. Write him off…. A mistake. He likes to be undermined at first contact. WARNING! You’re in the territory of a man with uncommon experiences so don’t be unexpectant of the expected unexpected. What do I mean? DJ Merque’s hobbies are reading, teaching and video-making. Writing is his part-time job wae. Kweku Tuadzra started writing in 1996 and now has collections of plays, films, poems and stories. A product of Dzolo Secondary School. He read English, French and Theatre Arts for a first degree, graduating in 2000, having combined Theatre Arts and English. Subsequently, he read English for an MPhil degree in Legon, specializing in the Syntax of International Auxiliary Languages. Grandpa, an expert on Ghanaian Pidgin English, has lived in almost all regions of Ghana ever. Willy Tuadzra is the CEO of Grandpa & Sons Primal Communications Consult. He was born in the 1970s.

2 thoughts on ““YOU GO TALK TRUE” (PART 1)”

  1. The slang, euphoria and even the slight use of euphemism made this piece a great one. This is really artistic
    This is a page scroller. The rhyme is beautiful.
    On a whole, it’s unlike any other. It can make a great movie.
    Kudos Grandpa!

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